Thursday, March 31, 2005

Big Meeting

We just had the best herd meeting. Buttercup gave a KILLER speech. We were totally hanging on her every moo.

Here’s some of the transcript:

Four score and seven years ago, our fore-udders grazed in these fields with big dreams and bigger cuds. Bessie stood at the top of that hill and looked down over her herd. She stood there and she nodded. The herd fell silent. And Bessie, she chewed her cud calmly. Slowly. And with the sun sinking behind her and the shadows cascading across her udders, do you know what Bessie said?

She said, “moo.”

It was a simple, yet decisive “moo.” Punctuated with an emphatic “clink” from her cowbell. And that speech, my brothers…that speech is what brings us here today. Bessie saw the other side, and let me tell you: the grass is most definitely greener.


Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, she has this amazing plan and the whole herd is really milked about it. It’s gonna be AWESOME! It’s kind of a grassroots udderground moovement. The humans are totally gonna FREAK OUT. I can’t wait. (C-Day is May 5. Remind me to mark my cowlendar.)

BovineUnite.com launches tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The Beef

I’ve had it up to my udders with these humans! They’re so bossy. I mean, just because they have opposable thumbs they think they’re sooooooooooo great.

Okay, so maybe cows can’t hitchhike. But let’s see a human try to eat an entire bale of hay.

I guess it just behooves me that these humans treat us cows like second-class citizens. I mean, all this talk about red states and blue states. I think it’s about time us cows have our own green states. What are we? Chopped liver?

Anyway, we had our first herd meeting today. It went really well. Georgia’s been working around the clock on a new website: BovineUnite.com. (she’s the Web Mooster). The cowncil approved it today, so the site’s gonna launch on Friday (April 1). Definitely check it out.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I am officially a dork.

It’s true. I have a blog. (Does that make me a cyber cow?)

I used to keep a journal back when I was a calf, and kind of lost touch with it, so I figured this might be a good time to start writing again. Although I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty hard to type with hooves.

A little about me: I’m a cow (duh!). I live on a farm in Easton, Maryland. My hobbies are eating, mooing and racquetball. I enjoy moonlit grazing and long walks on the farm.

Let’s see, what else…I don’t have a bullfriend right now, but if you know anybody who’s cute and single, definitely let me know. (Haven’t had much luck on match.com. Go figure.)

Well, I’m off to get milked. Check back from time to time. I’ll try to update this thing whenever the moood strikes. (Get it? Mooo-d?! Ha!)

Mooo,
Millie