Thursday, April 28, 2005

One week left!

One week left until C-Day!

The herd’s getting really excited. And the response from the other farms has been really great. All the other cows said they’d be there with bells on.

There’s still a lot of stuff to go over before the big day…some little barnkeeping items that still need to be taken care of… stuff like that. But all in all, things are going smooth as cream.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Cow breath

Oh. My. God. Louise has THE WORST cow breath. Ugh. It’s soooooooo gross. I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if she had some semblance of personal space whatsoever. Honestly, is it really that hard to understand? You’ve got your grass, I’ve got mine. But noooooooo. Not Louise. She’s one of those close-mooers. And it’s not like you can drop a subtle hint either. There’s really no polite way to say “Listen, here’s some hay. Your breath stinks like pig.”

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

It's starting!

Look out humans! The C-Day events are underway. I just herd from Georgia that our Buffalo bretheren have taken to the streets of suburban Baltimore. (Apparently they’re fed up with roaming fees.)

Here’s the story on the human news: article

Good one!

Q: Why did the human spend 20 minutes staring at a carton of orange juice?

A: Because it said “concentrate.”

Hee hee hee.

Georgia told me that one today. I laughed so hard, it almost made me spit milk out of my nose.

Monday, April 25, 2005


Got roped today. I am sooooooo not talking to Farmer Bill right now.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

On the road again

I was so not in the mood to get out of grass this morning. The rooster went off at like 6:00 and I was really tempted to hit snooze. I just hate traveling. Farmer Pete is SUCH a bad driver. I always get trailer sick.

Next time I'm totally riding shotgun.

On a brighter note, we've got another herd meeting tonight. The C-Day plans are coming along really well. Georgia said she's getting a lot of hits on (I always check for the latest C-Day news.) I'm psyched to find out what Karen found out about the new cow bells.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

At the moovies

I can’t wait for tonight. We’re going to see “Dude, Where’s My Cow?”

Random thought: why do they always try to get you to buy a bigger bale of hay? I mean, the large bale of hay is HUGE. But then they always try to get you to Super-Bale it. I mean, even with two stomachs, there’s no way any cow in their right mind can eat that much hay. Okay, except for Henrietta, but she’s a heifer.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I had THE BEST hay for lunch today. We went to this new pasture by the fence. Louise has been mooing about it for months.

And let me just say: To die for.

Okay, so the service was kind of slow, but the food was sooooo green. And it was like the perfect balance of clovers. Granted, the dandelions were a little tough, but they’re not really in season until June. Anyway, I’ve never been so stuffed. It’s a good thing I have two stomachs. Cow heaven, baby. Cow heaven.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Are you mooing at me? I don't see anyone else here so you must be mooing at me.

Why do the humans park their cars and moo at us? It’s insulting. We’re trying to eat. And they never get it right either. They always go “Moo.” But that’s all wrong. The proper greeting is “Moo-oooo.” And then they get all mad when we don’t respond to “moo.”

Sheesh! Bipeds.

Friday, April 15, 2005

How now, brown cow?

Great herd meeting today. We had a pretty good udderstorming session. Buttercup wanted to make sure we have all our cows in a row for C-Day. I can't believe it's only three weeks away!

On another note, it turns out brown cows DO NOT actually make chocolate milk. I was standing next to one while I was getting milked today. That milk was pure white.

Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are.

Thursday, April 14, 2005


Diane can be so rude sometimes. There’s a time and a place for chewing your cud, but dinner with the bulls is DEFINITELY not one of them.

What was she? Raised in a barn?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Who let the dogs out?

Wow, check out the udders on that mutt!

Just kidding. The border collie was at the vet today, so Karen and I snuck into the yard and left him a little surprise. Let’s just say he’s going to be VERY popular with the cats today. ;-)

Monday, April 11, 2005

A cow walks into a barn...

If I hear Farmer Pete tell one more lame mad cow joke, I’m gonna stampede. Seriously. I mean, okay. Once is fine. It wasn’t funny, but you know, you kind of laugh politely. The second time was pretty bad too. We kind of just looked at each other and tried to smile. But the third time? Sooooo awkward. I swear, you could’ve heard a pin drop.

Luckily Karen changed the subject with a well-timed “moo.” That guy seriously needs some new material.

Anyway, gotta head to another herd meeting. The C-Day plans are coming along really well. We’ve gotta work out some scheduling issues, so I think it’s gonna be a long meeting. Hopefully there’ll be hay. My stomachs are growling.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Work stinks

Work was soooooooo slow today. I got in around 8, and got stuck milking overtime.

I guess everybody has bad udder days. It’d be one thing if I had a stall with a view, but I just hate standing there all day. Farmer Bill isn’t exactly the fastest milker in the world either. Oh well. At least I get paid overtime hay.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Say Cheese!

Tried to take a self-portrait today. Man, those digital cameras are hard to work with only one hoof.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Bovine Unite!!!!!!!!

We’re so milked! is officially live!

Georgia did such a great job with the site. It totally rocks my farm.
The design looks AMAZING! Not bad for a cow with four left feet.

Oh, and she installed some advanced security features so the humans can’t log in.

Georgia’s gonna keep the site pretty well up to date with all the 4-1-1 about C-Day and the latest herd meetings and everything. Cows from other farms can log on and post stuff on the bovine bulletin board and download all kinds of Bovine Unite stuff to help spread the word. It’s gonna be awesome.

Anyway, I should run. We have another herd meeting in a couple days to talk about next steps and I’ve gotta help Buttercup prepare the power-point. She’s giving a presentation about C-Day logistics. (She’s really taking the bull by the horns. Metaphorically speaking, of course).